Tuesday, May 31

Walk Toward The Light.

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(Best ghost photograph ever.)

Near-Death Experience Mix
Submitted By: LetsEatPaste
Compiled By: The CDP

(I swear these keep getting longer and longer. I put them in quasi-alphabetical order because I'm lazy, and there's 2 disks worth. Keep the ideas coming, though. Send mixtape suggestions to communistdance@yahoo.com, yo.)

#1 - Against All Authority – “Destroy What Destroys You” – Destroy What Destroys You
#2 - Algebra One – “Crime Wave to Your Heart” – The Keep Tryst E.P.
#3 - Andrew W.K. – “Ready To Die” – I Get Wet
#4 - Ash – “Angel Interceptor” – 1977
#5 - At The Drive In – “Chanbara” – In/Casino/Out
#6 - Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution – “It’s a Wonderful Life” – A Call to Arms
#7 - Beep Beep – “I am the Secretary” – Business Casual
#8 - Ben Folds Five – “Eddie Walker” – Naked Baby Photos
#9 - Bis – “Dead Wrestlers” – Music for a Stranger World
#10 - Cake – “Sheep go to Heaven” – Prolonging the Magic
#11 - Catch 22 – “As the Footsteps Die Out Forever” – Keasbey Nights
#12 - Children of Bodom – “Follow the Reaper” – Follow the Reaper
#13 - Coheed & Cambria – “Blood Red Summer” – In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth 3
#14 - Communique – “Ouija Me” – Poison Arrows
#15 - Death From Above 1979 – “Romantic Rights” – You’re a Woman, I’m a Machine
#16 - Five O’clock Charlie – “Suicide Is Painless” – Not Enough Time
#17 - Further Seems Forever – “The Moon Is Down” – The Moon Is Down
#18 - Goldfinger – “Open Your Eyes” – Open Your Eyes
#19 - Hot Stove Jimmy – “Put Some Water on it” – Theme for a Major Hit
#20 - IfIHadAHiFi – “The All Tied Up” – Ones and Zeros

#1 - Jawbreaker – “Accident Prone” – Dear You
#2 - Liars – “Grown Men Don’t Fall in the River Just Like That” – Fins to Make Us More Fish-Like
#3 - Liberator – “Kick De’ Bucket” – Worldwide Delivery
#4 - Muse – “Time is Running Out” – Absolution
#5 - Nerf Herder – “5000 Ways to Die” – How to Meet Girls
#6 - NOFX – “We Threw Gasoline on the Fire & Now We Have Stumps for Arms & No Eyebrows” – Punk-O-Rama 3
#7 - Q and not U – “Hooray for Humans” – No Kill No Beep Beep
#8 - Rage Against the Machine – “Killing in the Name of” – Rage Against the Machine
#9 - Saves the Day – “As Your Ghost Takes Flight” – Stay What You Are
#10 - Streetlight Manifesto – “A Better Place, A Better Time” – Everything Goes Numb
#11 - Strung Out – “The Exhumation of Virginia Madison” – Twisted By Design
#12 - The Aeffect – “Burning in the Bed on Fire” – Secrets & Lies
#13 - The Decemberists – “We both go Down Together” – Picaresque
#14 - The Faint – “Birth” – Wet from Birth
#15 - The Impossibles – “Disintegration is the Best Album Ever” – Brick Bomb
#16 - The Misfits – “Last Caress” – Collection II
#17 - The Pixies – “Wave of Mutilation” – Death to the Pixies
#18 - The Shins – “So Says I” – Chutes Too Narrow
#19 - The Smiths – “Girlfriend in a Coma” – Strangeways, Here we Come
#20 - They Might Be Giants – “Older” – Dial A Song: 20 Years of They Might Be Giants

Enjoy your shortened work week. I have nothing to do at work, nothing to do at home, and nothing to do this weekend. I will use this time to play hundreds of rounds of PGA Tour Golf on my dusty Sega Genesis. You can find another of my album reviews in last week's Core Weekly, and probably a brand-spanking new one in the newest issue this Thursday. In the meantime, I'll be previewing the CD I just picked up this evening for a future review. Hey Core Weekly, where's my check? I'm working my ass off, here!

Well, it's 9pm. I think I'll eat some Ben & Jerry's and go to bed. My Conservative Christian relatives were right, I really am living in sin down here in Madison.

Those songs work out pretty well for that theme...I'd fast forward to Angel Interceptor, though, and then to Children of Bodom...then I wouldn't listen anymore :) hehe.
Yeah, there's a bunch of tracks that I would skip myself, but I put them all on there for the sake of full musical disclosure. Take from it what you will.

Have you checked out Ghost Study lately? I think that guy finally crossed the line from being an incredible paranormal optimist to just bat guano crazy. He's got a section of e-mails and answers that he's received from ghosts. Ghosts!

I believe in the paranormal, but I'll never believe that a ghost would haunt a web site.
Woh, I'll have to check that out...that's really sad!
You like DFA 1979?? Or at least own the album? That downright amazes me. I didn't think that would be anything you were into. I listened to that album for almost an entire month straight...fantastic.

"Lucky" by the One AM Radio should be on the near-death mix, but I suppose you don't have the album. It's about falling asleep at the wheel and almost driving off a cliff.
Yup, I don't own any One AM Radio, but I do have the DFA1979 album. The Missus hates it, and I'm basically not allowed to listen to it when she's around.

I like it because it's a 2-piece, dance-metal, distorted bass, loud as hell Canadian troupe, and she hates it for the same reasons.

It's your fault, Aaron. She hates everything that you listen to.
Also, DFA1979 have pornstar-esque moustaches. That's reason enough to listen to them right there.
If I grew one of those, I'd be kicked right out of the house. I'd also be amazed at my new ability to grow a thick 'stache.
I hate that band because that type of music is, as I stated to you the other day Ryan, very very played. "ooh, I'm an ugly guy that tries to sound sexy by writing lyrics that demean the intelligence of women and tries to make people think that I've even had a woman come within 10 feet of me in the last 15 years! Look at me!" STUPID.
The lead singer of the Faint got married a few months ago, and he changed his last name to match his wife's. That's pretty neat, don't you think?

When me and Aaron start a 2-piece, sexy, ass-shaking dance-metal outfit, we'll rock so hard that your fillings will come loose and try to ask us out on dates.

That being said, The Faint is on my list of the 10 ugliest bands ever.
Are you serious? I'm gonna start growing my dirty stache now.
We'll need a drummer, because I've got too way much sexiness to convey on the stage. I can't be seated.

The secret to a dirty moustache is to eat a lot of things with crumbs and grease, like french fries, Oreos, funnel cake and Pringles.

I just got the At The Drive In Anthology, and they make me want to be in a band again. Speaking of which, the guitarist from Sparta left them to join... The Mars Volta! The ATDI power struggle has shifted again! All we need is 2 more members for a reunion!
All that proves is that the guy from the Faint is as big of a weiner as I thought he was. He might sing about women like he knows a thing or two (which he doens't), but when it comes right down to it he's all "yes, I'll change my name to match yours, master!"

What a bunch of bunglicks.
If it's a 2 piece and you're not doing drums, then how does that work... unless the drum machine is doing all the work... But then it will become self aware and attempt to kill you. Violently.
And Aaron should totally grow a porn star moustache. (put a moustache on the drum machine, too.)
So basically, it's a two-piece, but I have to do everything so you can flaunt your sexiness around the stage. I think we can pull that off...I've got samplers and drum machines. Let's get to work.
I had some friends that played a show with a pre-programmed drum track, and they used one of those text-to-voice translators so the "drummer" would talk to the crowd and tell jokes between songs. Very funny hearing a computer automated voice saying "What a sexy crowd."
That's a brilliant idea! I'm totally ripping that off. I'll have to get a fake moustache for the computer.

That "moustache for the drum machine" is good, too. I'm glad we went public with this idea, because we're getting good image advice.

Yeah, I'm going to be way too busy being sexy to play any instruments. Maybe a cowbell or tambourine every now and again, but I'll mainly be eye candy.

This reminds me of a headline from The Onion that read, "Experimental Band Theoretically Good".

I was thinking a good name would be "The Sex-Rays".
So let's do this thing. I'm going to join/start as many bands as possible. In case you haven't heard, I'm playing keyboards in a hardcore band...ha. It's gonna be fun.

But seriously. Sleazy moustachioed sex-rock-dance-metal two-piece. Let's do that. Now.
Kill Rock Stars will sign us in a second.

I was thinking "The Sex Rayz", because then we can wear those cool hoodies with the skeletons on them.

I want to hear more about this band your in.
Ooo! Ooo! I want to hear about the band too! Does it have a sexy guitarist with a soul patch? And an old man drummer!? That would so rock!

...in other news... we need lyrics! Any takers? I can write music, but not words.
If it comes down to it, I'll write some terrible lyrics. If you scream loud enough, it doesn't really matter what you're saying.
I've got lyrics covered. Check out this phat rhyme:

"I'm here to make you quiver,
So let your love unfold,
I can't talk to you at school,
Because I'm 29 years old."

And so on and so forth.
Ryan, if you're writing lyrics like that, we NEED to be in a sleazy dance-metal band.
Those are horrible lyrics! However, I expect a Sex Rayz album out within the month. I also expect Aaron to have a nasty moustache. I'll also not shave, just for dramatic appeal. Behold the power of my scraggly goatee that won't completely come in!

Is it bad that I'm posting on here twice in one day, while I'm at work?
Those lyrics are the brilliantest.
Don't worry RJ, sometimes I do entire posts at work. Here's to being a State Employee!

My lyrics have always been brilliant. I can't believe ASCAP didn't give me some sort of songwriting award when I was in M@B.
Plymouth always rocks hard. As long as you're sexy enough. We're very particular about our moustaches.
I'll keep several different moustaches on hand, depending on what city I'm in.

Chicago? They prefer a more slicked, pencil-thin 'stache. The sky's the limit, on the other hand, in Milwaukee.
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