Sunday, July 3

Halftime. (Drink & Regret.)

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We're at the halfway point of the Toronto trip diary, so I figured this would be a good time to step away from it for a bit, and catch up on some other things that have been going on in the last week. Frankly, I'm sick to death of talking about the trip, and it's really starting to show. Perhaps this may get worse before it gets better, but here's hoping that I'll be able to paint a better picture of the vacation if I've completely forgotten about it for a couple of days. We had a good time, and just because I'm sick of talking about it doesn't mean that I should portray it negatively.

Anyways, I have a new review in the latest issue of Core Weekly. I'm proud of it, because I haven't had a published review in a few weeks, and I get to make fun of Sublime fans. Don't get me wrong, I have every Sublime CD, but they haven't been listened to since I was 14. As someone who's not a frequent drug user and lover of fake reggae music, I've found at least 500 bands that are better than the embarrassing drivel that they laid onto tape a decade ago.

Work has been interesting since I've returned. They have me started on a different position that I'm hoping to take over in the next couple of months. It's a pain in the ass, but I'm nothing if I'm not a patient guy. If something better gets offered to me before they offer me the position, I'm outta there. More information on that as it warrants.

I have a DVR now. I'll never miss another episode of anything ever again. I record crap that I don't even care about now, just because I can. It's so unnecessary, and I can no longer live without it.

I've added the link for the band Minus the Bear over on the sidebar. They make good music.

It's been no lower than 90 degrees every day for the last two weeks. As a guy that doesn't fare well in the sun and heat, I've been pretty miserable. I got a sunburn walking to my car yesterday. We had some friends over on Saturday on a count of Sherry's 21st birthday, along with the world-famous Madison fireworks. That went okay, I guess. The Missus got a beautiful new tattoo (her fifth), so I was pleased even though the day was less than splendid.

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You see, since I've returned from Toronto, I've felt even less sociable than usual. For some reason, I feel about a mile away from everyone who tries to converse with me. I don't want to listen, I feel like I don't particularity care what they have to say, and I find myself pretending to be happy and interested more and more. I understand that this may come off as arrogant and selfish, but I'm just trying to be honest. I'm not happy with this direction (I mean, how less approachable can I get?), so I'm trying to figure out what the damn deal is. When we had the kids over this weekend, I make several attempts to step away from the group every now and then, just so I could take in a few seconds of solitude.

I think that's what it is.

It's not that I can't stand everyone. It's not that I'm purposely being a distant jerk. I think it has to do with the fact that I've been constantly monitored by people for the last several weeks. I've had absolutely no time where I wasn't in a social situation. I can only take that stuff in small doses, then I'm looking for a room to lock myself into for a few hours. I'm not nearly as personable as I used to be, and it really starts to grate after a while. I'm still a social guy, but my friends aren't stupid. They're starting to catch on, and I really apologize.

My sanctuary is nonexistent. I normally had work to clear my mind of everything that's going on outside of it, but recently, work has turned into one of the biggest problems on my list. I'm sometimes doing what I swore I'd never do, which is drag my "work mood" home with me. Things around the house have been going great since we've returned, but I can't seem to sleep very well (the heat), and our schedules have been less than peaceful. The next few weeks should be better, and maybe I can turn the corner of "Whining Pansy" Street.

Until then, I'll continue to vent and apologize for the next few days.

I should be fortunate that I actually have friends to walk away from. Lord knows I bring nothing to the table. It seems that some of my acquaintances care more about less mature ventures than they used to, and it concerns me. I don't fall into that category, and can you believe it, I actually feel like a bad person because of it. I shake my head at the sheer audacity of that statement, but it seems like the problems I had with my friends in High School have actually come full circle for me at the age of 23. Again, I feel like the loser. Unreal. If history is bound to repeat itself, my friends will eventually drop me like a bad habit because I no longer fit their definition of "fun".

Scratch that. I actually dropped all of my old friends for that same reason, not the other way around. I'm better than that, and I chose my Wife over the depths of loser-dom that was my clique in 1999. If anything, I got to be in a cool band because of it.

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Enough of this. I hang around some wonderful people who have just as many faults as me, and we all find a way to put up with them equally. We're all great because of our versatility, coupled with our unbelievable stubbornness, if that makes any sense at all. I never want to leave behind the people I know now, and here's hoping that they never want to leave me behind. The ultimate irony of this whole thing is that I've been drinking today, so what I say needs to be taken with a grain of salt and an aspirin.

I'm not even close to the person that I think I am. Keeping up the lie is half the battle. I never said I was a fun guy to hang around.

But the bottom line is this. I surround myself with people so good, they've decided not to banish me.


But, because Sherry was being completely unreasonable last night, here's a picture of her (with husband) that she's gunna hate. Happy 21st Birthday.

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Feel free to defend yourselves in the comments section. I'm watching the end of "Tommy Boy" and going to bed.

Aww! Ryan, you almost made me cry! I like you too! Now take that picture of me down! I need to do more sit-ups and crunches!
I'm glad you understood the nature of the post, and not just the negativity sprinkled throughout. You know how things get sometimes.

I like to make people almost cry.

Oh, I'm not taking down that photo just yet, if ever. You left your dinner in my fridge, yo.
What a gorgeous tattoo!!!! :)
If I were a betting man, I would bet that within weeks your blog will turn into a daily list of shows you are watching or will watch that day on your DVR.

I would also bet that your blog has the highest number of references to Tony Little of all of the non-Tony Little-related blogs. This paragraph probably belongs in the comment section on the last post.

All these things you are feeling are just chemical reactions in your brain determined by your Myers Briggs type.
Hey, where's the personality profile stuff you said was here?

PS. We'll still love you no matter what--God damn it.
1. It IS a gorgeous tattoo.

2. The DVR thing is an absolute certainty. So is the Tony Little thing. I've thought he was hilarious for over a decade now.

3. My next post will dip a little more into the personality profile thing, even though I swore I wouldn't do it. Erin, there's link to take the personality profile somewheres in the last couple comment sections.

I love you too, Erin. You make me smile, even when I have murder on the brain. You need to stop in more often.
I've been working for the last 21 hours, and for some reason felt like coming on here. Some guy torched a warehouse and I got to protect the crime scene all night.

So as I was getting into my police uniform today, my computer randomly started playing the CHIPS theme song. I didn't touch anything! All I did was button my shirt. Pretty freaky, if you ask me.

For now, I'm going to go lay down. I work again in 5 hours. Until then, I'm going to watch "Highlander".

RJ, that's bizarre.

Erin, do a google search for Humanetrics and you'll find the personality thing :)
Its funny how whenever Sherry is over to drink, she just ends up passing out in some embarrasing position.

That picture of me and you is funnier because you didn't know what I was doing until after you took the picture. You're all serious...snapped the picture then looked at the result: "Oh...great."

Paid holidays are great. I got paid to sit on my front porch drinking with some friends.
P.S. "23 Minutes in Hell: Remix" is on the way. I think I'll have time for it. When I'm done I'll mail out copies for everyone. It should be entertaining.
RJ does kind of look like Eric Estrada. Inn-teresting.

Sherry falls asleep like that weather she's drinking or not. She's usually out by about 9. I swear that she married Ben specifically to use him as a pillow.

You saw my reaction when I took the picture. I forgot you were behind me, so when you showed up, it was the equivalent of a ghost popping up. It was pretty funny.

"23 Minutes In Hell" is going to rock. You should put some old KMFDM or Ministry-esque industrial beats over it.
You'll have to put it up on the internet or'll become one of those things that gets passed around on the internet and everybody hears it. I always wanted to do something cool enough that that would happen...
I actually have a few industrial-type beats on my laptop...I guess that will be where I start. The whole idea of it is to put it to music that it doesn't belong with. Some christian activist guy talking about hell over metal-ish's going to be an internet phenomenon. Probably not though.
I think bands like Ministry and KMFDM made a career with Christian-talk over industrial beats. If anything, you'll start a revival.

Or go straight to hell, depending on what you believe. It's worth a shot.

Christianity is far from evil (in my opinion), but when people start to pervert it and treat it as a weapon of fear and guilt, that's when you have to get creative and strike back.
Since I don't actually know any of you, you guys are like my own personal reality show.

Fire-and-brimstone-speak would be funnier if it was tracked over "What a Wonderful World" or Styx's "Show Me the Way". (You may be too young to get that last reference).
Haha...Styx. I hate that episode of the Simpsons where they do the parody of the mythological stories, but when they go down the river Styx and all the skeletons are head banging...that's awesome.
Which reminds me of the episode where the network execs create the Poochy the dog character for Itchy and Scratchy.

WEINSTEIN: "Uh, a dog? Isn't that a tad predictable?"

EXECUTIVE: "In your dreams. We're talking the original dog from hell."

OAKLEY: "You mean Cerberus?

EXECUTIVE: (pause) "We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly."
"Always recycle...TO THE EXTREME!" Jaw-droppingly wonderful satire.

The "Hell" tape should be mixed with the Benny Hill theme song (Yackety Sax). That thing works on so many different levels.

I've always wanted to be on my own reality show. In many ways, this is it.
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"Always" meaining 5 years ago when reality TV more or less started, I assume...
I'm pretty sure that Battle of the Network Stars started much earlier than five years ago.
Boo-Yah! Go Team CBS!

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