Friday, April 1

Spring's Untold Wonders.

Image hosted by A Short Story By: Gabriel.


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I had never seen a mitten quite like his again.

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The End.

(Gabriel is a syndicated columnist, who's work can been seen in The Village Voice, Vanity Fair, and Barely Legal.)

Tuesday, March 29

No Room For Humans.

Image hosted by
"This now concludes our broadcast day. Good night."

When I was a kid, I had insomnia. After my parents would go to bed, I would sneak into the living room to watch television all night. We didn't have cable, so at around 3am, most of the networks would go off the air for the day. The National Anthem would play, and the test pattern would show up, sounding a tone that would surely wake up the entire house had I not muted the TV just beforehand.

I hated the test pattern. Not because I wanted to watch more TV, but because it meant I was alone. I just wanted to sleep, and I was usually too afraid or too busy thinking about something to relax long enough for that to happen. I didn't have a computer in the 80's, so when TV finally bailed out on you at night, you were truly on your own. It probably doesn't make much sense to anyone else, but that test pattern was a very frightening thing to me, because it symbolized loneliness and solitude. But eventually, the Home Shopping Network came along, and then I was free to watch television until the sun came back up for another bleary-eyed day.

Enough depressing nostalgia. I'm in the process of putting the finishing touches on my book review for Core Weekly. I will be covering "50 Things You're Not Supposed To Know" (Volumes 1&2), released by the fine folks at the Disinformation Company. This review is a full page for me to say whatever I want, and I'm really looking forward to when it's published. As always, I'll steal a lot of newspapers to shell out to friends and family. They're paying me so much money right now, I could quit my day job if I wanted to get a divorce and starve to death.

There's only 2 more Boycott Unity cartoons left. Check it out!

By the way, I don't want to talk about the NCAA tournament anymore. It didn't hurt as much as 1992, but it was close enough to put it behind me as quickly as possible.

So, needless to say, I had (and still have) a lot of things to catch up on. I've been keeping my posts short, but I'll be back into the old routine by the end of the week. March is shaping up to be the biggest month yet for the CDP in terms of site hits and visits, and I really appreciate that. Keep it up, and I'll send you all a gold star.

Send me a picture of your eye first.