Friday, October 21

Lost Friday - Volume 3.

Season 2 - Episode 5: ...And Found.

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Oh yes, another Lost Friday is upon us. Before we get down to the business of getting down, here's a quick synopsis of the episode, as told by our friends at Wikipedia:

On the familiar side of the island, Sun has discovered that she has lost her wedding ring. First Jack tries to help, by telling a story about how he lost his wedding ring, and tore apart the garbage and the plumbing looking for it. When Sun asks where he found it, he replies that he didn't, he bought a answer that doesn't seem to sit well with Sun.

Then Hurley gives advice, suggesting that Vincent ate the ring while Sun was feeding him. Later, when Sun is angrily tearing apart her garden, Locke arrives. Locke being calm as usual, Sun states that she doesn't remember ever seeing him angry. Locke laughs and replies that he used to become angry quite often. Sun asks him why he no longer becomes angry to which he replies that he is not lost anymore. Sun asks him how he found himself. Locke answers, 'The same way everyone finds something that is lost, I stopped looking."

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Finally, when Kate tries to console Sun, telling her everything is all right, Sun informs her that certainly isn't the case, and reveals that message bottle had been recovered. Kate asks where it is and Sun tells her that she has buried it. Upon digging up the bottle, Kate becomes upset and frantically attempts to read all of the messages. Sun stops her and says that they are private. Kate tells Sun that she never said goodbye to Sawyer. Kate then glances at the sand and tells Sun to look down. Her wedding ring is lying in the sand.

Meanwhile, Jin, Michael, Sawyer and the survivors of the tail section decide to trek back to the safer side of the island. Before they leave, they gather food, with Jin distinguishing himself with his fishing abilities yet again. Michael abruptly leaves to look for Walt alone. Jin and
Eko set off after Michael while the remaining survivors head for the camp. Along the way, Eko senses someone coming, and the pair hide. Hidden in the bushes, they see a procession of people go by in almost unearthly silence. The "others" are seen only from the thighs down; some are wearing pants, some only dirt, and the last is carrying a brown teddy bear on a string. All are barefoot. Later, the pair find Michael and convince him to come with them.

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In flashbacks, Sun is set up on a date by a matchmaker, and finds her prospective suitor, Jae Lee, to be wealthy, educated and surprisingly charming. Meanwhile, as Jin is preparing for an important job interview at a hotel, his roommate, Tai Soo, consults a book of astrology and suggests that Jin is destined to find love soon, and adds cryptically that its color will be orange.

Jin's interviewer, Mr. Kim, insults his prospective employee, suggesting that Jin is bumpkin villager who stinks of fish, then hires him as a doorman anyway, with a stern warning that Jin is not to open the door to anyone like himself.

Sun and Jae continue to hit it off, and the pair schedule a meeting at the hotel where Jin is working, though he fails to see her because he is bowing as he opens the door for her. Inside, the suitor suddenly reveals that he plans to marry a woman he met in America, and has only been seeing Sun to placate his parents. Sun wishes him well and immediately leaves. At the same time, a poorly-dressed father with a young boy approach the hotel, and ask Jin for permission to enter, as the boy urgently has to go to the bathroom. Jin reluctantly lets the pair inside, but Mr. Kim observes, and gives him a stern dressing-down. Jin quits on the spot and departs.

Later, wandering along a bridge, he notices a woman in an orange dress walking past. Turning to give her a wistful look, he shakes his head in amusement, and walks away...and collides directly into Sun, his first meeting with his soon-to-be wife.

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Now, I don't have to tell you that this episode was...a bit slow. Uneventful, even. Over the course of 60 minutes, we got to see how Jin and Sun met, watched at Sun lost and eventually found her wedding ring, and got a good look at the filthy legs and feet of the others. Fair enough, as the Lost team is saving their bombshells for sweeps week.

Which reminds me, there won't be a new episode for TWO WEEKS. Here's the quick schedule for the next three weeks:

October 26: Season 2 - Episode 2: "Adrift"
November 2: Season 2 - Episode 3: "Orientation"

This is borderline unacceptable, but we'll manage, because "Abandoned" will launch into sweeps week with the death of a major cast member. Who's it going to be? Well, stopping short of a full spoiler, here are two hints:

1. It will be a woman.
2. She's not a tail-section survivor (Libby, Ana Lucia). Damn. I hate this woman.
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Here come the numbers! A lot of this information comes to us from an interview with producer Damon Lindelof. There wasn't a lot to talk about this week, so here's some theories and spoilers straight from the mouth of the man.

1. In that picture of Jin's resume, we see that his birthday is November 27, 1974, and he's 30 years old. There are a couple things interesting about that. First off, that's the birthday of the Missus, but more importantly, it solidifies when this story is taking place. Where people have been speculating that the crash takes place in the future or past, we see that it's pretty much happening in present day, lest the writing staff made a huge continuity error (which I doubt).
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2. Jin's e-mail address is

3. Mr. Eko rules.
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4. Sawyer's shoulder wound is going to become nastily infected.

5. The "Orientation" film's jarring jump cuts are actually what producer Damon Lindelof calls "missing pieces" that resulted when Desmond spliced the broken movie back together after watching it too many times. Those missing pieces will become "very important plot points down the road."

6. Shannon did not see Walt in the jungle. It was a vision, which leads the theories that Walt isn't "special", but Vincent is.

7. Says Lindelof: "I think the audience is very compelled to figure out exactly where Desmond was running to and, once he gets there, what is he going to do. We told you that he was in a ship wreck, but I think there are a lot of questions about how exactly he came to be here. That's certainly a story on the horizon."

8. Was Mr. Rutherford from Jack's flashback in episode 2.01 Shannon's dad? Her ex-husband? Expect to find out in an episode airing during November sweeps.

9. "The Helen we meet in flashbacks is not the same Helen that Locke was speaking to on the phone," Lindelof clarifies, sort of.

10. Expect a reunion between Rose and husband Bernard.

Here's a gratuitous photo of Sun.

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Later kids. Start the conspiracy in the comments section.

Wednesday, October 19

The Wayback Machine.

I'm feeling a tad lazy, so instead of posting something new, please enjoy what I posted one year ago today. From time to time, I may do this to fill in the gaps more when I have nothing to say. So, hop into the wayback machine and set a course for...

"Letting Off The Happiness" - October 19, 2004.

Ahh, the Boston Red Sox, Michael Moore and an election on the horizon. Not to mention, a lengthy discussion about male nudity in the comments section. Autumn 2004 had it all.

Lost is on tonight. Don't forget to come back on Friday for the big recap. Later.

Tuesday, October 18

The Perfect Cartoon.

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Sunday, October 16

Ask A Cheap-Ass Pirate. (Volume 2)

(Ask a Cheap-Ass Pirate is a column designed to increase awareness of the Pirate lifestyle, in addition to promoting responsible spending and living within one's means. Ask A Cheap-Ass Pirate began when marauding roves of pillagers began to go hungry and poor after burying, and naturally forgetting where they placed their stolen treasure. Eventually, it was voted upon that an advice column devoted to slim living was the most optimum way to continue their horrid escapades. Those who chose to vote against this option had molten gold poured down their throats.)

(Ask a Cheap-Ass Pirate is syndicated nationwide in over 250 publications, including "Forbes", "Fortune" and "Murderer and Looter Weekly.")

By: Mutton Chop, A Pirate.

Dear Mutton Chop,

Good day! I'm writing to you from the high seas of the Mediterranean, where me and my crew have been drifting aimlessly for weeks. You see, we lost our map when a storm kicked up and sent half of my men overboard. Since then, we've been eating deck rats and amputating infected limbs to survive. Things have been rough, but I wanted to let you know that your column always cheers me up.

My question is this. What's the cheapest way to start a rubber stamp collection?

Stamping With Scurvy

Dear SWS,

Yaarrrr! First off, I want to wish you the best of luck taming thar high seas. I know it can be be brutal, so take it one day at a time, and make sure to wash yarr hands peri-arrr-dically. It'll save you in the end.

Rubb-arrr stampin' is a tried and true hobby of mine. I starrrted when I was nary a wee swashbuckler. I found the best way to get on the train is to make them from scratch. Some wood from thar poopdeck will make a good base, and you can make a crude rubber out of plank tar and boiled fat from thee infected limbs. Be creative! Anything goes when yarrr stampin' without a map.

Yo, MC!

This is ya' homeboy Kool-Aid, comin' at ya' from East L.A., yo! I gots a question for ya' pirate ass, just let me put my glasses on, fool.

I recently procured a large amount of US currency, mostly through illegal and murder-like activity. What's the best way to clean the money, and temporarily store it for safe keeping?

All the best,

Dear Kool-Aid,

Yaarrrr! I want to starrrt off by tellin' me readers that I don't choose the lett-arrs I respond to. I want to let yee know that I in no way support racism and inequality amongst thar races. Furthermarrr, I want to express that if this indeed was a fictional let-arrr, I would not find it funny. This kind of hum-arrr is old and unoriginal. Now if I may, I have an advice column about thrifty Pirate living to manage.

Cleaning and laund-arrr-ing money is what us Pirates do best. We have found the best way to enjoy yarr newfound booty is to bury it, never to be seen again. Hundreds of years from now, someone else will discover it, and become rich and famous.

On a completely unrelated topic, I wonder why us Pirates are a dying breed. Thanks for writing!

Note From The CDP:

(And so concludes the single stupidest thing I've ever posted. I mean, I could literally feel myself getting dumber as I thought of different ways to make this Pirate answer these questions. With an Internet gimmick like this, I can almost assure myself employment with the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. It's seriously that bad. I only put it up for two reasons. 1, to tell you that I was never going to do another horrid Mutton Chop column ever again, and 2, I am capable of some of the dumbest writing this side of a 15-year old girl's diary. Some people will honestly do anything for hits and traffic, and I'm no better. I hate myself, and it will never happen again.)

COMING UP NEXT: Ask A Cheap-Ass Pirate (Volume 3).