Monday, July 16

How To Make A Bomb Pop.

With my first foray into the world of Streaming Video, I present to you a public service; the proper way to make a Bomb Pop, the CDP's preferred drink of the Summer.

Please enjoy, sound off in the comments section, and enjoy your Monday.

NEXT TIME: Outtakes!

I need to mention that this would not have been possible without the help of Ben at Sandbox Films, as well as the Missus. We plan on doing a lot more of these, so you'd better start liking them.
That was awesome, but your voice is so less whiny than i've been's rather off-putting. Anyhow...keep up the good work, dumbass.
Thanks, Zak. Considering that my voice gets all loopy when I'm excited (as you just saw), that's about as annoying as you're ever going to hear me.

CDP Fact #1 - This was shot in my kitchen on Sunday afternoon.

CDP Fact #2 - We started at 2pm, and it was on YouTube by 9:30.

CDP Fact #3 - By the end of the shoot, I was intoxicated. You'll see more of that during the outtakes.
The CDP actually has a perfect radio voice. He talks like that all the time.
I was made for Infomercials.

CDP Fact #4 - I wore a blazer so we'd have something to attach the microphone to. I was concerned it would be glaring, but it's pretty much un-see-able.

CDP Fact #5 - The Outtake reel is 3 times longer than the actual finished product.
What?!? No thank you for providing sustinence after the shoot?!? How insulting!!!
The sustinence was quite delish. You left those delightful cookies at our house! Don't expect them to be there when you return :)
Yeah, sorry about that. I forgot to thank the person who decided to cook a pizza whilst drunk, and almost burned down CDP Headquarters in the process.

Thanks, though. The cookies were dee-lish!

CDP Fact #6 - There's one glaring continuity error in the video. Can you spot it?
Oh dear God, that is the best video I've seen. Ever.

I was planning on writing up the White Trash party that we went to on Saturday and putting up the pics on Spork Nation, but I'm just going to link the video instead.

My only complaint? Not enough car chases or full frontal nucity.
You had me at hello.

Ok, maybe not hello, persay. But you had me at the NES WrestleMania reference, though. Classic.

Looking forward to more of those!

I'm waiting for some high school student to try this for their demonstration speech in English class.
Thanks for the mad propz, JT. Thanks for the link, too, although I'm still looking forward to the White Trash Party pics at some point.

This was my first clip, so as I get more comfortable down the road, you can expect far more exploding Pintos and bare ass.

CDP Fact #7 - One take was ruined by my cat.
Thanks, Bruce!

It should be mentioned that I made a last-minute script change from Mike Tyson's Punch Out! to Wrestlemania, simply because I thought it would be funnier. I think I was right; Punch Out! has been overused in the 80's nostalgia market; Wrestlemania was an underrated classic.

I did a demonstration speech on the guitar in High School, even though I didn't know how to play. Truth was, I had forgotten all about the speech until the day of, and I grabbed my friend's guitar out of his locker and just started talking.

When the speech was over, someone asked me to play a song, which got me sweating. Miraculously, he asked me to play 'Blister In The Sun,' which was the only song I knew the opening lick to.

Disaster averted. I got a B+.
think I was right; Punch Out! has been overused in the 80's nostalgia market;

Negative. There can never be too much Punch Out!.

That's like saying too much beer, or too much football season.
Oh, I'm not saying I don't love Punch Out! with all my heart, I just wanted to throw in something slightly more random.

CDP Fact #8 - The gun in the background is pointed directly at my temple in the opening shot. Oh yes, it was planned in advance.
I own a tshirt that looks almost exactly like the gun in the background. Also, I have been promised tha I will have my moonshine by next week.
Urban Outfitters, baby. Where you can get super-thin shirts, hipster artwork and novelty paperbacks for quadruple the price of any other store. I shop nowhere else.

I almost forgot about that Moonshine. I fully expect to go blind, you know.

CDP Fact #9 - I took the ice cubes out of my pocket. For some reason, I thought that was really funny.
Pocket ice is never not funny.

Non-pocket ice went to Duke.
Mmmm...lint in your drink. Sounds almost as delish as Ben thinking that a drink in the Old Mr. Boston's bartender's guide called for "sweet corn" rather than "sweet cream."
In Ben's defense, he was drunk. Also, I'd eat/drink just about anything with Sweet Corn in it. Say, when will they be in season again? Is it up to an elephant's eye yet?

Pocket ice can see your butthole.
Ben was NOT drunk. He's just illiterate.
Allen's has corn right now. It's just very small, as the customers are quick to point out.
It's worth the wait, I guess. But I could really go for some good Sweet Corn right about now.

CDP Fact #10 - While you can't tell on YouTube, this clip was shot with a $5000 HD camera (not mine).
Ah. That was fun. A bi-colored drink?! Brilliant!

And, not for nothin', I find that Frampton Comes Alive is one of the quickest and easiest ways to get unwanted can't-take-the-hint guests our of your house after long a gathering or soiree has gotten past the winding-down stage. Your other option is calling the police. Frampton also works for expelling vermin from crawl-spaces...or so I've heard.
Thanks, Maus! By the way, is your nickname based on the Art Spiegelman epic of the same name? I have a friend that really needs to read it, and we were just talking about it the other day.

I was thinking about closing the video out with a Frampton song, but instead opted to throw it onto YouTube as soon as I could. I'm currently rocking out to 'I Think I'm In Love' by Eddie Money, as it's one of the rockingest rock songs that ever rocked. Unironically, I might add.

Okay, ironically. Still cool, though.
CDP Fact #11 - Frampton Comes Alive! was a last-second replacement for a metal Slinky. I think you'll agree that we made the more humorous choice.
Why is the box just a big white box of nothingness? Did you use YouTube and therefore prevent me from looking at this from work?!?@#? I AM GROWING INCREASINGLY UPSET. YOU SHOULD USE VIMEO INSTEAD.
Yeah, I used the YouTube. What is this Vimeo you speak of? Why is it better than the proverbial Tube of You that has treated me with such respect?

So, my Simpsons team consists of Me, the Missus (maybe) and Nathan Comp. Anyone else wanna get on board?

Maybe not, I don't want to split up all that phat prize money.
If I don't get at least 10 dollars I'm going to be very angry.
My Blogging name is technically "Bauhaus Maus". I shorten it to Maus to make it easier. My nickname at work used to be Mouse (the other one was "Hobbit", which is also fitting), and "mouse" in German = maus.

I've read Maus several times (it's pretty standard issue course reading material at the university where I work, actually), and I recommend it.
I just noticed you added me to your network! As you can see, it takes a while for me to catch on to things. Plus it's Monday, so I have a serious case of mental cobwebs.

From one Farker to another: Thank you!
Which blog is yours?
Nevermind...if I had thought about it for 2 seconds, I would have realized I could just check your profile! haha.
Three things to add...

1) Hopefully you'll understand the consensus that everyone thought your voice would be different; I would concur that I thought your voice would be whiny, too. You'll be one of the talking-heads on MSNBC before you know it.

b) I may have overappreciated the pocket ice. I gave a hearty chuckle when you reached into your pocket.

3) Brought out "I see your butthole" over the weekend. It didn't go as well as either of us had hoped. Could've simply been my delivery, could've been my "Corky-from-Life-Goes-On" friends...whatever it was, I won't be trying that one again. Any joke that requires explanation will never work on my compadres...
I wish I had been there to see you try out the "I can see your butthole." That sounds like it was hilarious!
Very entertaining CDP. I will have to try this concoction sometime; although the thought of drinking a liquor that resembles the stuff my barber keeps his combs in, will take some willpower. I also found it somewhat disturbing that, considering your family tree, you only filled your glass about 2/3 full. Aside from that, I was finally able to take something from this website that was worthwhile. Thanks CDP!
It's also amazing, considering your family tree, that you chose to use a rocks glass and not a tumbler or 5-gallon pail.
I see on Technorati that someone linked you by stating the following: "Read the full post from erotic mind control story archive." The quote prefacing that appeared to be from one of your Lost Friday posts. I think that the point of Lost Friday may have entirely been lost on this person. Or did I miss the point?
(yawn...) Hey, morning guys! I've got some catching up to do.

MAUS - I've had you linked for awhile, as thanks for linking me. Thanks for clearing up the Maus thing; I really need to read those again.

Why do they call you 'Mouse' at work?

MOE - How many times do I have to tell people that I have a radio voice before people actually believe it? Aw, never mind. At least people now know that not all Midwesterners have that annoying 'Fargo-esque' voice.

Keep working the 'butthole' comment into conversations. It'll catch on, I promise.

TINMAN - Thanks for the comment. You need to remember that by the time we got a usable take, I had drank about 3 Bomb Pops and we were running out of lemonade. By the end, they were pretty much 85% vodka.

HATHERY - Lost Friday has always been a front for my underground erotic story network. Duh.
Erotic hypnosis stories, no less!
OK, that was an awesome video and now I wish I had some blue vodka to mix me up one of those bad boys. Also, love the AD vodka goes bad reference (at least, I'm assuming that's where you took it from). It had me giggling like a little girl.
Yup, that was an AD reference; you get a point for noticing. Don't be a stranger!
What? I missed an AD reference? I am officially lame.
Nah, there's way too many to keep track of.
good lord that was funny
Thank you, dear! I appreciate all the kind words, because I really want to make more of these. I consider your compliments permission to continue being stupid.

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