Tuesday, May 6

Lost Monday - "Something Nice Back Home."

Lost Monday - Something Nice Back Home.
Season 4 - Episode 10: "Something Nice Back Home."

Another Lost Monday is upon us (albeit a day late). We have much to discuss.

After the relative hesitance and foot-shuffling of Season 3, Season 4 of Lost has been nothing less than a bullet train of awesome, fueled on nothing but cocaine, death and Red Bull. I point to this as one of a few good things that came out of the Writer's Strike (American Gladiators being the other).

In fact, I'd say that the last two back-to-back episodes of Lost have been the best in the history of the show. Rife with mythology, character development, death and panties, Season 4 has delivered in a huge way; almost enough to make me prematurely forgive the writers for the upcoming Season 5 snoozefest that's sure to result.

There has been bloodshed. There has been romance. The Smoke Monster returned to tear someone's face off. Kate has shown various stages of near-nudity on two consecutive occasions. What more could you possibly want?

I'll let you ponder that while we dig into The Thick & Meaty!

Thick & Meaty.


Daniel is trying to avoid being murdered for lying to the castaways about the true intentions of the Boaties. Jack joins in on the fray, only to have his appendix explode from the side of his abdomen. Will Betheboy tips a 40oz. in respect and mutual empathy.

As Sun, Jin, Daniel and Charlotte are collecting supplies for Jack's appendectomy, Jin notices that Charlotte can understand and speak Korean. He uses this opportunity to remind Charlotte that he wants Sun off of the island as soon as possible, lest he have to start shooting bitches left and right.

Rose tells Bernard that Jack has gotten sick for a reason; as 'people don't get sick on the Island.' Bernard covers her mouth with chloroform so he can take a nap, then does the same to himself.

Juliet prepares to remove Jack's appendix, and he insists he be awake for the operation. Juliet tells Jack that he doesn't need to impress her with feats of masculinity. Kate gets to hold the mirror so he can watch himself get carved up like Christmas goose. Bernard gets to knock Jack out if he gets too whiny. He does, and he does.

After the successful surgery, Juliet tells Kate that Jack is cuckoo-bananas crazy for her. Kate giggles and roller-skates off into the darkness, as Jack scribbles hearts onto the back of his spiral notebook. Awww.

In The Jungle.


Sawyer, Claire and Miles are wandering back to the beach, when Miles has a John Edwards moment (John Edwards the psychic, not John Edwards the con artist) and recovers the bodies of Rousseau and Karl. Sawyer finds this a bit disconcerting, and puts a 20-foot 'restraining order' on Miles concerning contact with Claire. This is similar to the restraining order I've been legally obligated to follow with Cate Blanchett.

As a side note, Sawyer has been awfully kind and protective of Claire lately. This means that either he's about to be killed off, or he's just on the rebound after his breakup with Kate. Claire does remind me of that one desperate friend of the popular girls that goes out with all of the guys that get dumped by them. The Island is pretty much High School with better clothes; prove me wrong.

Frank stumbles out of the jungle (he knows no other gait), and tells the trio to hide from Keamy and his approaching army of jerkasses. Frank covers while they hide, and they make it out unscathed for the time being. Keamy doesn't care to discuss his run-in with the Smoke Monster, but one of his guys appears to be missing a face, so it's sensible that he's quiet on the matter.

In the middle of the night, Claire catches a glimpse of Christian Shepard (her dad, as well as Jack's dad), and toddles off into the jungle with him. In the morning, Sawyer and Miles find Aaron alone in the jungle, as Sawyer does his best Michael impression ('CLAAAAAAIRE!')

In The Future.

IN THE FUTURE (And please be honest; what's it mean?):

Jack and Kate are living out a seemingly perfect relationship after their Island rescue, raising Aaron as their own.

Then he starts seeing his dad, which freaks him out as you'd assume it would.

Then a somewhat-insane Hurley tells him that he thinks the Oceanic 6 are all dead. Hurley reminds Jack that he didn't want to have anything to do with Kate and Aaron until after her trial, and that they're living out their fantasies in Heaven. He talks about seeing Charlie, giving Jack the message that he shouldn't be raising Aaron. If this isn't all frustratingly brain-melting on its own, Hurley then tells Jack that someone will be coming to visit him.

Putting this kind of pressure on Jack is like adding unnecessary weight to an already-rickety structure. In a matter of days, he's washing down prescription pills with booze and neglecting his razor. The transition between this Jack and 'future' Jack becomes rather clear.

Later on, Jack proposes to Kate, which she willingly accepts, to my hilarity. I love how the writers addresses the off-island situation with Jack and Kate, giving all the 'shippers' their moment to see those two crazy kids truly happy, although feeling the lurking dread that it's all destined to fall apart. That's awesome to me; throwing away these big scenes with the promise that we already know what's going to happen.

Jack sees his dad again, pees a little and falls off of a countertop.

We find out that Kate is doing favors for Sawyer (not those kinds of favors, douche), fulfilling a promise that she wanted to keep to him. Jack is rightfully angry about this, as he explains that Sawyer decided to stay on the island, and that he's basically old news. Kate doesn't want Jack drunk and spittling all over Aaron, to which Jack replies that she's not related to Aaron (foreshadowing his knowledge of Aaron's pedigree, or merely a jab that Kate has Claire's baby). Kate runs off with Aaron, and Jack runs off with a case of Bass Ale.

Smash cut, episode over.

Jerk Of The Week.

Jerk of the Week accolades go out to Christian Shepard this time around. After all, he's been almost solely responsible for Jack's downfall, along with his infidelity leading to the existence of Claire; arguably the most annoying and least-necessary Lost A-lister thus far.

Suck it Christian; you're an inspiration to egotistical zombie ghosts everywhere. I hope you die...twice.

We're moving fast today; try to keep up. Let's Break It Down!

Break It Down.

4 - When Juliet writes out the list of medical supplies needed for Jack's appendectomy, she spells 'forceps' as 'forcepts,' and 'gauze pads' as 'gause pads.' Either the prop department had an 8-year old write out this list, or we're left to assume that Juliet is a stone-cold retard.

8 - Jack's lab coat in the hospital spells his last name as 'Shepard' instead of 'Sheperd.' Again, they really need to leave the props to someone that doesn't suffer from dyslexia.

15 - This episode filled in the gap that took place after Kate's trial, yet before Jack lost his mind. We have yet to see how their relationship solidified after their rescue, and why Jack was so reluctant to form a relationship with Kate before and during the trial.

My guess? Perhaps something about pretending to raise his nephew as his own son. Just a hunch. Oh, and I'm quite certain that Kate is crawling with some sort of super STD that turns your central nervous system to butterscotch-flavored Snak-Pak.

16 - So, what sort of favor is Kate doing for Sawyer off the island? If I were a betting man (and I am; the Missus no longer lets me go to the casinos), I'd assume it has something to do with his daughter, Clementine.

Or, she's not really doing anything for Sawyer, and she's working on some sort of con with Benjamin Linus. That would be a neat little twist. I like how that bug-eyed little turd has his hands in all of the cookie jars.

23 - Miles saw Christian because Miles sees weird stuff. Why Claire and Jack are seeing Christian is still anyone's guess, although I think we're going to discover something next week that should answer a lot of those questions...for better or for worse (read The Preview for more on that). I also find it interesting that Sawyer actually sat down and had a conversation with Christian in a bar back in the day. Man, that Shepard guy has more contacts than P. Diddy.

42 - I like Crazy Hurley. Crazy Hurley represents the fringe Lost viewer; the wacky-theory viewer that wants to explain the entire show away with one simple explanation. These people are going to be sad little kids come Series Finale time; a show like Lost will never answer all of your questions, nor should it be able to conclude with an all-encompassing explanation. To do so would be to not give the show its due in regard to the vast layering, themes and events. Shame on you, Crazy Hurley!

Before we get into The Preview, it's time for the Question of the Week!

Question Of The Week.

In the opening sequence of this episode, we see Jack trip over a Millennium Falcon toy, presumably belonging to Aaron. Now, I don't peg Jack or Kate to be big Star Wars fans, nor do I think that Aaron should be watching a film like that anyways, considering that he wasn't a day over two years old during that flash-forward. So, what's it doing there?

Seriously. Think about it for a minute, and I'll give you the proposed answer (as ripped from Lostpedia).

A - In Star Wars, Luke Skywalker was raised by his uncle, as Aaron has started to be raised by his uncle in this episode. Star Wars also features a brother and sister (Luke and Leia) who did not know they were related.

Wow. Good looking out on the part of the writers and producers. Either that, or it was merely a huge coincidence that we're giving them far too much credit for.

Cover your eyes! Spoilers ahoy! It's time for The Preview!

Cabin Fever.

1 - Episode 11 will be titled 'Cabin Fever,' and it will be Locke-centric. It will be a flashback episode for our favorite mono-kidneyed explosion enthusiast.

2 - The official episode description from ABC reads: "Locke is enlightened as to the whereabouts of Jacob's cabin, and life aboard the freighter becomes perilous."

3 - Expect to see cameos from the following notable people: Christian Shepard, Matthew Abbadon, Horace Goodspeed and Richard Alpert. Wow, there must be a lot going on this week, from a multitude of angles and avenues.

4 - This awesome tidbit comes to us from The Transmission: "The flashback revolves around John Locke, and it's a flashback to the very beginning of his story: his birth. We'll also see Emily, his mother, in her younger days (presumably before her time in Santa Rosa, and before she betrays John Locke for his father's kidney hunt). But someone else is wandering the hospital: the ageless and eerie Richard Alpert, looking quite dapper in a suit."

5 - After 'Cabin Fever,' there will be only two more episodes this season, spread out over three total hours. Episode 12 will air on May 15, with the two-hour season finale airing on May 29 (notice the week off in between episodes). Then it's a long wait until January 2009 for Season 5.

Well, there you have it, another Lost Monday in the books. Start the conversation in the comments section, send all erotic photography to communistdance@yahoo.com, and catch up on every Season 4 episode by reading the Lost Monday recaps below. Cheers.

Lost Monday - Episode 1 Recap.
Lost Monday - Episode 2 Recap.
Lost Monday - Episode 3 Pop Crunch Recap.
Lost Monday - Episode 4 Recap.
Lost Monday - Episode 4 Pop Crunch Recap.
Lost Monday - Episode 5 Recap.
Lost Monday - Episode 6 Recap.
Lost Monday - Episode 7 Recap.
Lost Monday - Episode 9 Recap.

It was a great episode. But I don't think I'm crazy for having suggested that they really are all dead. I know everyone involved in the show has denied it, but of course they have to deny it. They can't give away the basic twist of the show. But yes, the plane found at the bottom of the sea is the real plane. Everyone's dead. The Island is some limbo-land where the dead work out their demons and Ben has struck a deal with the devil/god to allow people access back to the real world / mainland (flash forwards). That's my guess since the beginning. We'll see how it plays out.
The biggest mystery thus far:

My only problem with this episode: too many scenes featuring Evangeline Lilly in panties. I did kind of enjoy the tantalizing glimpse of Matthew Fox side-butt, so I guess it evens out. Judging by the preview for next week, I'm guesssing that Locke gets a little more than he bargained for, and the island is ready to stake its claim on him. Which is what I think happened to Claire. Poor, stupid Claire...
Claire will be gone soon ... I feel a finale death coming on.

And Richard! I'm glad he is returning, he brings mystery and guyliner to the show, I have missed him.
Jack's lab coat in the hospital spells his last name as 'Shepard' instead of 'Shepard.'

Am I missing something here?
It was a great episode. But I don't think I'm crazy for having suggested that they really are all dead.

I watched some of the first season and that was my thought, too. They are in Purgatory!

Since we don't watch Lost anymore, does anyone else here watch Dancing with the Stars? Methinks that Kristy shouldn't be feeling very secure, because Jason hit a tipping point last week -- I'm not sure he can lose at this point.
My initial thought was purgatory, but I abandoned that quite a while ago. Seems too easy!
DOMSAR - I had actually forgotten that you said that, so hopefully you don't think I was dissing you or anything; no offense implied.

I think the thing is that if they really are dead, then it would mean that millions of people figured that out immediately after the pilot episode. For a show like Lost, that people hold to such a high standard, most of us don't want to believe that the case was cracked years ago.

Purgatory is a solid, popular (probably the most popular) and still-valid theory, but man...for the sake of the lineage of the show, I hope we're all wrong about it.

BRUCE - I think I saw Lindleof and Cuse discussing this on Jimmy Kimmel, and they pretty much said it was a continuity error. That was about the only answer they gave up, too. What a glaring mistake that was, though. And why did he wax his chest between takes? How long of a span was between those scenes?

MAUS - One cool thing about Lost is that it's typically an equal-opportunity nudity machine. There's usually no female goodies without some male ones, as well. I like a show that knows the balance.

Locke looks to have an awesome episode this week, and regardless of if we want to see her again or not, we probably will see Claire pop up within the next two weeks. Then hopefully she'll get offed.

CAITLIN - Richard will be back...in a suit! Everytime I see him, I just can't help but remember the character he played on Suddenly Susan...he's a pretty funny guy, although the show itself was terrible.

HATHERY - Fixed it, sorry!

HOSS - While I don't watch Dancing With The Stars, I admire your willingness to share, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
I hope there is some Richard nudity this week.
In my opinion, the episode was more of a run up for the finale. Certainly enjoyable, but nothing big really happened. There's only so much entertainment
I can get out of Jack-based episodes.

Although his man boobs are magnificent!
I thought Kate's ass did a bang-up job of winning my heart over yet again, even though it's attached to her stupid face.

But, I think that Jack was completely unconvincing as someone that's ever had a drink out of a beer bottle before. I didn't think it was possible, but I saw it.
HATHERY - Some Richard side-boob would be just what the doctor ordered to boost ratings going into Sweeps.

DUFF - Lost always changes the game with their season finales, and I'm sure that this one will be no different. I don't know where they'll go from here, but it's sure to be frustrating as hell to wait until January.

IMS - Matthew Fox doesn't seem like a beer drinker to me. More of a rainbow skim fizz man.
My prediction for the season finale?
Although I don't watch the show, I believe it'll have something to do with Patrick Duffy waking up to find Bob Newhart in his shower...
...or the ever-popular "all inside the head of an autistic child" ending.
I think they'll finally find out who Number One is, only to realize that it's a chimpanzee.
I think that the last scene will be a shot of the smoke monster sitting in the hatch reading 65 Poor Life Decisions while gently weeping.
Boy, wouldn't that be great. I've heard that the book resonates with many different demographics, including nanotechnology-based smoke-like monsters.
I think we'll find out that the black horse Kate keeps seeing is actually her biological father.

Hey, for me that was a pretty good joke!

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