Tuesday, May 27

Lost Tuesday - Season 4 Caption Edition (Part 1).


To this day, I can't get over how funny this picture of Desmond is. Nor can I deny how much he looks like Barry Gibb. "I'm not gonna take any crap from anybody!"

Anyways, this week will be completely devoted to the Season 4 finale of Lost, and what better way to kick things off than with a smattering of some of the best Lost Monday captions of this season?

...Okay. Arguably, there are many better ways than this, but I was operating on a deadline. Enjoy.

(I've seen the future, and it's a world without razors.)

I can't remember who told me, but someone said that this was their favorite caption ever. In all honestly, I think I wrote this at about 2am on a Sunday, and still have yet to determine if it's funny or not.

("So, it's settled; Charlie doesn't deserve a funeral. Who wants dinner?")

Personally, I'm still hoping for his husk to wash ashore at some point. Considering the time-traveling wackiness we can expect in Season 5, he'll probably come back to life during Sweeps.

(Hurley risks life and limb to rescue a 'Cool Ranch' Dorito he accidentally dropped into the ocean.)

Now I know why children make fun of fatter children. It's easy, hilarious and wrong on almost every level of class.

(Oh look, a Patriots fan.)

I bet that still hurts, 'eh?


I think my initial joke was something along the lines of, "I'm stuck in the vending machine again," or some crap, but I know where the belly laughs truly reside.

("Kate, it's Jack. Have you seen my right eye?")

It's rare that I get to make sight gags on the CDP.

(Meet Daniel Faraday. The world's first living, breathing, waterproof Muppet.)

I enjoy this caption, mainly because I think that 'The Waterproof Muppets' would be a tremendously rad band name.

(Locke slaps Hurley across the face with the power of his mind.)

This is the funniest caption of the bunch, no question about it. Sometimes I'll see a photo, and the joke is already there; everytime I see this picture, I snortle heartily.

("Hello, liquor store? Can you deliver a quart of scotch directly to my liver?")

If anyone's ever heard the classic comedy bit by Hudson & Landry, titled 'Ajax Liquor Store,' you'll know precisely why this is funnier than it should be. For the rest of you that didn't grow up listening to 50-year-old comedy records, you're probably in a much better position anyway.

(Naomi does this neat thing where she sleeps with her eyes open. Forever.)

I like this, mainly because I was really glad to see Naomi get killed off so quickly. And by Locke, no less.

("Listen brother, there's only room on this island for one crazy, bearded drunk, and it's ME!")

I recycled this joke for when I wrote an episode of the Pop Crunch show. Nobody seemed to notice, and the money spent the same.

("I have freckles, Herpies. Wait, I mean I have herpies, Freckles.")

Again, another one of those jokes that comes at two in the morning, after staring at Sawyer's dumbass expression for six minutes in a row. Is it funny? We'll never know.

("Boy, I'd sure like to blow an Asian guy's face clean off today.")

If you recall, this was the episode where Locke crammed a live grenade into Miles' mouth and left him to think about what he did. The joy that Locke seems to have in thinking this thought through is one of the reasons I think it works well.


Jack makes more Special-Ed faces than the rest of the cast combined.

("Hey bayliff, we're wearing the same khakis. High five.")

This is funnier if you imagine the bayliff looking back at him like he's insane.

("You may want to opt for the plea bargain, Kate; you've somehow managed to kill eight people on your way here today.")

Tell me again why we're supposed to like Kate, and hope that she ends up safe and sound? She's a sociopath, murderer and a bank robber. She may be cute, but come on, the baggage alone is enough to fill the chasm between Michael Strahan's teeth.

(Apparently, Daniel was a PHD in Douchebagology at Oxford.)

If you don't want to punch that guy right in the snoot, then I don't know if we can be friends.

(Desmond realized he was a bit off-course when he saw a dolphin swim past the helicopter.)

This is funny.

("Time travel? Are you f***ing kidding me?")

This represents the utter bafflement and disbelief of every hardcore Lost fan out there that doesn't want to see their beloved show fall off the deep end. Time will tell.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Wednesday - Season 4 Caption Edition (Part 2).

"("Listen brother, there's only room on this island for one crazy, bearded drunk, and it's ME!")"

It is incredibly wrong that I was secretly (well, not so secretly anymore) wishing you were making a "Thunder in Paradise" joke here.
Without the aid of the photograph, it could easily pass for a Thunder In Paradise quote. In fact, I like it better when I imagine Hulk Hogan screaming it whilst wagging his finger at the camera thusly.
I love the "I have seen the future..." caption. I use that phrase a lot. Like when we run out of ice cream at home. Or our servers go down at work.

I guess I'm the only one who even remotely finds the Daniel Farraday character a teensy bit endearing? He annoyed me up until 'The Constant', because I couldn't figure out what his role was supposed to be. But now that I know he's the Stammering, Socially Awkward, Theoretical-Scientist, I actually like his character.
Nope, it's not just you Maus. I like Farraday, too.
That's because you both like losers.

Like me.
The man has a point.
The Topamax I take for my migraines gives me a side effect called "word loss" where I sometimes stumble over my words, or jumble them up, or forget what I'm saying all together. Ryan says I sound like Daniel Farraday when this happens. He's not saying it to be nice.
She has the best unintentional Daniel Faraday impression I've ever heard. I know that's kind of mean, but hey, at least she doesn't have migraines anymore.
It's a win/win combination...?

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