Friday, January 18

An Amusingly Cranky Eccentric Curiosity.

In The Not-Too-Distant Past.
(Skinny, awkward, baggy shirts...I hated the 16 year old me, and it showed.)

1. It bears repeating that Sunday is the NFC Championship game between the Packers and the Giants. If you live anywhere near the midwest, you're already aware of the astronomical prices and lengths that people are going to snag themselves tickets to Lambeau Field (considering the embarrassing state of our nation right now, even reasonably intelligent people will take anything they can get to take our minds off of reality, so suck it up and ask for seconds, kids!).

The Missus' side of the family are season ticket holders, which means that they always get first dibs on securing playoff tickets. Upon the realization that Green Bay would be hosting the championship game, my wonderful Mother-in-law tried to buy out the four family tickets and surprise me and the Missus with them as a gift (and a jaw-dropping gift at that). She offered her parents (the ticket owners) a cool grand for them, which they turned down in favor of selling them to a broker.

How much did they sell their daughter out for? $1200. A mere $200 more than what she offered them. This effects me directly and hurts me deeply, as I was to be the recipiant of one of those NFC Championship tickets. In fact, when I heard the news, my nose started bleeding. Alas, it wasn't meant to be, and I will spend Championship Sunday in my living room, listening to Troy Aikman ramble on about pass coverage while Joe Buck eats a cheese pizza.

Packers 34, Giants 17. See you in Arizona, Patriots.

This Is Way Cooler Than Porn.

2. I received a piece of Spam e-mail yesterday that contained the tagline: "Be Like Ron Jeremy!"

Yeah, that's exactly who I want to be like. A 55 year old, balding, has-been fatass with a smaller unit than me. Sounds like a raw deal, when you really think about it. I don't need you, Spam! Find another sucker! Come back to me when your tagline says: "Be Like Ron Popeil!" That guy was a visionary; he invented the Pocket Fisherman, for Christ's sake.

Tinker Catsup.

3. Benjamin over at Killer Sandbox Productions wants to draw you a picture. For free!

Here's the thing. Ben just bought himself a drawing tablet, and needs practice before he starts making millions off of his soon-to-be viral web animations. He's an incredibly gifted artist, and he'll create something that you'll love. So head on over there, give the man some much-needed practice and get something awesome and original in return!

Tonight, you'll find me in line for the 7:30 showing of Cloverfield. Also, the CDP will be taking Martin Luther King Jr. Day off, so expect the funny to arrive on Tuesday. Free at last.

Sound off in the comments section, sign up for the Nationwide Mix-Tape Trade #2 if you haven't yet, and enjoy your extended weekend.

Thursday, January 17


Post #700.

Today marks the Communist Dance Party's 700th post. I greatly appreciate your kind words and applause, but I'm going to request that you hold off for a minute.

I have something very important and emotional to share with you. It's something that I believe perfectly sums up the love and joy that I'm feeling today; a song that speaks what I'm unable to convey with my meager words.

Please enjoy.

Renaldo Lapuz.

"We're Brothers Forever."
Lyrics By: Renaldo Lapuz

I am your brother
Your best friend forever

Singing the songs, the music that you like.

We're brothers 'till the end of time

Together or not, you're always in my heart

Your hurt, your feelings in you will worry no more.

Thanks for sticking around, 700 times over. Please sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Tuesday, January 15

Take Off Your Mittens And Press Play.

Mix-Tape Trade #2.

Back by popular demand, it's the sequel to the wildly successful CDP Nationwide Mix-Tape Exchange! Here's the skinny, for those that want to be included this time around. Don't get left out!

In honor of Valentine's Day, the general theme for Trade #2 is 'Love.' Try to create a mix CD that covers at least one of these three love-related topics:

1. Your favorite love (or anti-love) songs.
2. Songs to make love to.
3. Songs that make you cry.

If you want in, drop me a line in the comments section or send an e-mail to, telling me that you wish to be included in Mix-Tape Trade #2. The deadline to include yourself in the Trade is Friday, January 25. At that point, we'll draw names and find out who you'll be making a mix for.

We'll go from there. All you need to know right now is the following:

1. Let me know if you wish to be included in the Trade by Friday, January 25.
2. Pairings will be drawn on Monday, January 28, along with contact info.
3. Mixes will then be due in your pairing's mailbox by Valentine's Day.

Any questions, comments or concerns can be directed to the comments section or to my e-mail address. We had almost 20 people the last time around; we can do a lot better this time.

Sound off and get to it!

Monday, January 14

Girls Just Wanoo Have Fun.

#5 Humor Blogger In The Nation.

On Saturday, I celebrated the Green Bay Packers advancing to the NFC Championships by destroying two bottles of Chardonnay with a couple friends and singing karaoke until the wee hours of the evening (Singstar Rock, Pop & Amped; ask for it by name). While most Wisconsinites were content in sucking down beer and brats, we kept it far classier and refined, although we all look the same passed out on the kitchen floor, I'm quite certain.

On Sunday, the entire nation was shocked by two things:

1. The realization that Lambeau Field would host the NFC Championships (God damn!)
2. The worst list of Golden Globe winners in recorded history.

While I won't bust on the Golden Globes too much, I will say that Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell are the embodiment of Pop Culture dimness; an entire genre of blank, talentless faces that make a living on the success and creativity of others. How freaking disgusting and sad it must be to wake up and know that you bring nothing to the table of life but your ability to read from a prompter and hold a microphone in the general direction of someone who actually did something worthwhile with their life.

Best run-on ever. Seriously though, screw the pop culture press. I'm through with them in the worst way. Furthermore, did network television poop in the cereal of all the Golden Globes voting members? If were part of the Big 4, you were almost guaranteed not to win a thing.

Unless, of course, you were Tina Fey.

Wanty McWantwant.

Congrats, Tina. Just call me Wanty McWantwant. Let's move on.

More importantly, I won't have to once again watch my idol, Brett Favre, travel to Dallas and lose the NFC Championships. The only thing standing between the epic Favre/Brady Superbowl matchup is a banged-up Chargers offense and a Giants team that's running on so much heart that there's already a Disney movie in production about their season. Peyton Manning is playing the role of Eli, because hey, he won't have much to do for the next few weeks.

At the beginning of the season, I thought that seeing Green Bay in the playoffs would have been an amazing accomplishment. Now, I know it's their destiny. They will defeat perfection, cementing Brett Favre as the greatest quarterback ever to play the game of football. Mark it.

I'm working on lots of new things this week. Check it 'oot!

1. I'm compiling a Season 3 Lost recap, along with a Season 4 preview.
2. I'm preparing for a HUGE interview on Wednesday night; I'll give you the scoop when I can.
3. I'm considering throwing myself a birthday party, and you're all invited. More info soon.
4. Prepare for the CDP Nationwide Mix-Tape Exchange #2! It's coming in February!

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day. American Gladiators is on tonight, which means that Crush is on tonight, which means that I'll be staying home tonight.