Friday, April 24

I Got The Shakes! I Got 'Em Bad!

If you’re reading this, it means I’m already gone. In a figurative sense, of course.

From Thursday, April 23 at 4pm Central time, to Thursday, April 30 at 4pm Central time, yours truly will be taking part in Digital Detox Week; a full seven days of absolutely no online interaction of any kind. No checking Twitter every two minutes, no constant Facebook updates, no e-mail banter, not even will be spared from a proper shunning. It’s high time I cleansed my system, as gut-wrenching as it’s probably going to be for my brainball.

I shall make my return to the Wired next Thursday afternoon to write next week’s (no doubt, hilarious) Lost Friday, hopefully well-rested, fresh and lemon-scented. Over the next seven days, I’ll probably clean the house, meander around in my boxer shorts a little bit, read a book or two and have the Missus take my iPhone and modem with her to work every day. My hope is that Digital Detox Week rekindles my love for the non-connected world, and maybe- just maybe- reminds me that I don’t always need it every waking moment.

Now, a few ground rules.

1. I work in an office that utilizes networked computers, so if it needs to be done as part of my job, I’ll need to access online information. Also, Outlook Express is a must if I don’t want to get fired, but this is allowed is it’s not enjoyable or informative to me in any way.

2. My iPhone will continue to be used to make phone calls. Of course, anyone who knows me understands that I never make or willingly receive phone calls, so this is a wash.

3. Digital Detox Week includes my Wii connection, too, so no epic MarioKart or Guitar Hero tournaments while I’m on the wagon.

4. I shall continue to watch as much television as humanly possible.

Bear in mind, I’m not doing this because I’m anti-Internet, anti-Social Networking and anti-Checking The Same Page Every 30 Seconds For Nineteen Straight Hours. The web and it’s many facets are a part of our lives now in an extremely necessary way. I’d probably equate it to going a week without your car; it’s seriously going to hinder you in some specific avenues. Truth of the matter is that I’ve had the web since 1994, and I’ve never gone a week without it. So why not now? Why not at a time where my dependence is at a fever pitch?

Besides, I’ve got plenty of other things to do. Like…well, there’s…um…


I’ll return to the Internet in seven days, and I’ll be bringing Lost Friday with me, so be ready. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your weekend.

I will not be participating in Digital Detox week. But good luck to you, Ryan!
You're posting in the future, man! That is so far-out.
Since I'm reading this while working on a work project and watching the Pittsburgh Penguins painfully lose Game 5 of their series to the mother effin and much hated (in the Maus household anyway) Philadelphia Flyers - ha ha multitasking! - I'm getting a kick...

Seriously - good luck with all that. I'm too much of a 'net junkie - I'm patting myself on the back if I make it a whole evening before succumbing to the siren call of Fark.
Maus is a hockey fan, eh??

I am having CDP withdrawals already. Good thing I live with Ryan so I can make him poop out jokes whenever I want :) haha
Digital Detox? Inconceivable! I am glad I am not doing a detox because I need to stay on top of the Bea Arthur online memorials.
I am so sad about Bea Arthur. I love Golden Girls so very, very much.
Oh, Hathery - we still have Blanche, everyone's favorite over-sexed television retiree.
And Betty White! Never forget.
I love Betty White. She was the best part of that movie about the giant crocodile.
I'm back, kids.

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