Thursday, August 6

No, Jesus Couldn't Tap.

You may know by now that I’m a big Mixed-Martial Arts (MMA) fan. MMA, and the Ultimate Fighting Championship in particular, has skyrocketed in popularity over the last 7 years, bringing with them a whole slew of new endorsements, products and clothing to appeal to the modern MMA fan.

One item in particular is geared towards the Christian MMA enthusiast; a clothing line entitled ‘Jesus Didn’t Tap.’ I figure the shirts are designed to promote the Christian lifestyle and recognize the sacrifice Christ made for our sins (if you believe in that sort of thing), all while showing you’re a badass at the same time. No problem here.

My issue is logic. The phrase ‘Jesus Didn’t Tap’ is supposed to mean that He never surrendered, never gave up, gave His dying breath for what He believed in and what He was destined to do. Hardcore stuff. But let’s be honest, here. Jesus couldn’t have tapped. His hands were nailed to a board! Hell, he could have been trying to submit to beat the band, for all we know.

All I'm saying is that, until all the facts are in, we should change the name from 'Jesus Didn't Tap' to 'Jesus Couldn't Tap.' Just something to think about.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

(LISTEN UP! The Communist Dance Party is inching ever closer to Post #1000! As part of the festivities, the CDP will devote the entire week of August 17-21 to answering any and all questions you may have about the Little Blog That Could. So think of something you've always wanted to ask about Ryan J. Zeinert or, post or send it to, and wait until the week of August 17 for the answer. You can stay anonymous and can ask as many questions as you want. Thanks in advance!)

And see, here I was going to the dirty place, thinking this product line is aimed at telling people how gloriously celibate Jesus totally was. Y'know, not at all tempted by that Mary character who was actually probably one of his first disciples. Not at all.

Tap that ass!
This is why I love you, Emily. Adds a whole new depth of meaning to the MMA phrase, "Tap or Snap."
I had a semi-friend from HS that had a wide assortment of "Lord's Gym" t-shirts. They all depicted something to the extent of a ripped J. Christ doing push-ups with a cross on his back, and probably had an inspirational saying or something.

I too initially thought this was some kind of abstinence-only message.
Working out *can* be a good way to release sexual frustration. Just watch out for the guys doing squat thrusts.
Yeah; Jesus didn't teabag.
John Hughes died today, which makes it official; 2009 is the absolute worst year ever. Anyone that every meant anything to anybody is gone, leaving us scared and alone in an uncertain world.

Yeah, I'm drunk. But whatever, I'm still right.
Do you ever think you're the most right when you're the most drunk?
That's what I've been trying to tell my wife, but she's not buying it. Had I began drinking back in school, I probably would have been Valedictorian.

My doctor doesn't really approve, either.
Yeah, I'm way late commenting which means this will be read by exactly no one, but I shall comment just the same. When I read that, I immediately thought of dancing - tap dancing.

Jesus didn't tap dance.

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