Friday, February 13

Lost Friday - 'This Place Is Death.'

Season 5 - Episode 5: "This Place Is Death."

Another Lost Friday is upon us. We have much to discuss; welcome to the new CDP.

First thing's first. After celebrating our Fifth Anniversary yesterday, the CDP has undergone a complete makeover, and we sincerely hope that you enjoy it. Take a look around, check out some of the new sidebar links and leave us a comment letting us know what you think. This new look is the result of about a month of work, and I'm very pleased with the turnout. This is another good time to thank Aaron Miller over at Different Damage, who worked closely with me and created something that was streamlined and minimalist, yet somehow exactly what I wanted. If you're ever thinking about a similar website redesign (or something completely different, too), he should be the first guy you contact. The check will be in the mail on Friday, dude.

Secondly, this is a good time to mention that the CDP Webstore has also undergone a complete overhaul, featuring tons of new and beautiful merchandice for your purchasing pleasure. Seriously, there's some fantastic stuff over there, so please take a minute to at least check it out, because I get royalty money just by readers clicking through it. Thanks in advance.

Again, there's new CDP Merch, and it's unbelievable. Worth a peek, kids.

Now, onto today's Lost Friday. I quite enjoyed 'This Place Is Death;' far more than 'The Little Prince.' The off and on-Island flashes were nice and broke up the eventual monotony of both stories. I feel as if we're finally getting somewhere with the unanswered questions, even though it's taking an entire army of secondary characters and guest stars to get there.

Let's get on with it.

(At 3 years of age, Ji Yion Kwan became the CEO of her own cell phone company, making her the fourth-youngest Korean to achieve such status.)

("Yes Ryan, the new template looks fantastic. When can I see you again?")


(Who knew that Rousseau was, prior to going completely batshit crazy, sort of adorable? I especially liked the way she said 'Radio Tower.' "Ray-dee-oh-toe-wear.")

(The black smoke turned out to be nothing more than a nearby tire fire, causing this French researcher to waste a perfectly good pants-crapping for no reason.)

("Christ, I should have just stepped in front of that freighter bomb like a man. This place is ridiculous now.")


("With two Pendants of Life, the Silver Snakes are going to the Temple!")

("My name is Charlotte. I was born on this island and left with my mother when I was a kid. I became an anthropologist because I wanted to find this place again, and I think that Daniel may have traveled back in time here and rambled incessantly to me when I was a child. This is all the relevant information that my character has, so I can now die. Thank you for your time.")

("I can't get that damn Lily Allen song out of my head! Somebody shoot me in the face!")

(John Locke suddenly realizes that, for the fifth straight season, he has to single-handedly save the entire show.)

("No Charlotte, please don't die. I still have so many things that I want to half-heartedly mumble in your general direction!")

(This just in: I would still sleep with Juliet in a heartbeat. Don't think that I've forgotten about us, J.)

(Civil Unions are outlawed in California and Korea, but not on the Island.)

(In The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, the answer to everything is 42. Well, on Lost, the answer to everything is Christian Shephard. "What's the capital of Spain?" "Christian Shephard.")

(Locke had better hope that the Frozen Donkey Wheel can repair a compound fracture, because Christian is off the clock.)

Boom. Roasted. Thanks for joining us; sound off in the comments section, let us know what you think of the new design and enjoy your weekend. Oh, and check out the CDP Webstore on your way out. Thanks much.

Season 5 - Episode 1/2 Review.
Season 5 - Episode 4 Review.

Thursday, February 12

5 Years Of The CDP.

(2004-2005 CDP Template.)

(2005-2006 CDP Template.)

(2006-2007 CDP Template.)

(2007-2009 CDP Template.)

(2009 CDP Template: Arrives Tomorrow.)

Today is the 5th anniversary of the CDP, and the death of the 'old' CDP as we know it. Please pay your respects and eulogize in the comments section, and prepare for the launch of the next chapter of the CDP at 12:01am Friday morning, kicking things off with a new Lost Friday.

Thank you very much.

Wednesday, February 11

Non Ridere, Non Lugere, Neque Detestari, Sed Intelligere.

Happy Hump Day, kids. We're just one day away from the CDP 5th Anniversary, and just two days away from the launch of the All-New CDP. In honor of this, here is yet another fantastic CDP design that you'll soon be able to purchase on a whole litany of various merchandise. Like pretty much everything else this week, today's logo was created by Aaron Miller from Different Damage, and I suggest you check him out the next time you need to make your website awesome.

'No More Entertainment' is set to be the new creed, mantra and manifesto of the CDP for a number of reasons. It's equal parts sarcastic, hypocritical, snobby, tongue-in-cheek, passively confrontational, pop-cultural, catchy and downright idiotic; all of the same elements that went into naming this place the 'Communist Dance Party' in the first place. I think it's a perfect fit; the inspiration for which came during a particularly profane rant by yours truly after accidentally watching the E! channel for more than two minutes simultaneously.

You know, I can't believe that I've been actively blogging for five years. I say this mainly because it has felt more like ten. Considering the sheer amount of evolution and personal growth I've experienced since 2004 (college graduation, 5 years of marriage, 5 years of full-time employment, 3 apartments, 2 cats, 1 house, 1 published book and 1 rung higher on the tax bracket), the life I've lived in the last half-decade has been more rapid than my first 20 years combined. I suppose this is true of any man's first few years of true adulthood, and it's been more than I've ever expected or deserved, frankly.

On a more global level, the last five years have probably been similarly accelerated for all of us. After all, there's been a lot going on since Bush stole his second Presidential Election and continued ushering America closer and closer to the Apocalypse. The War, the Gas Prices, the next Great Depression, Katy Perry's inexplicable celebrity status. And hey, I haven't even gotten around to our new President yet, and get this, he's kind of black! Crazy times, man.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a mid-February sunrise of unseasonable warmth. The dozens of inches of snow had melted away, winter jackets were tossed into the backseat and the Midwest experienced that same temporary feeling of rebirth that we always cling to around this time. I've long since realized that these few warm days wedged between snowstorms are just Mother Nature's way of keeping the suicide rate down, but we love and appreciate them just the same. It's a gift; our chance to start over every year. To feel new optimism. To feel motivated. To feel good, even when all the signs around you are pointing towards more badness. In my own little way, I get to do this with the CDP on Friday, but in a more unified sense, we all can.

Tomorrow is the CDP Fifth Anniversary. Sound off in the comments section, and tell everyone how you have evolved for the better over the last five years.

Tuesday, February 10

I Want To Go To There.

Another day closer to the launch of the new CDP, and another sneak peek at one of the new logos that will soon be available for purchase on a whole litany of goods and services (well, maybe not exactly services). That's my silhouette up there, presumably mourning the death of Analog Television.

It's at this time that I should mention and publicly thank the tireless, endlessly creative and downright amazing work of Aaron Miller over at Different Damage. For the last two months now, he's been helping me every step of the way with designing the new website and merchandise, and I couldn't be more thankful. Trust me, I'm not the easiest guy to design for. I pretty much told him, "I want it as awesome as possible and as minimalist as possible; is that possible?" I gave him my manifesto and he brought it to life, so if there's anything that you dig about any of the new stuff come launch time, you have Aaron to thank (subsequently, he's responsible for anything you hate, as well). If you ever want to make a cosmetic change to your website, contact him immediately, because nobody's going to do a better job, and nobody's going to have more competitive rates.

One of the main reasons why I decided to to a website redesign instead of, you know, just quitting, was that I thought it would recharge my creative batteries and ignite the spark that allows me to sit down for hours at a time and tell funny stories. That 'spark' used to be cocaine, but after two interventions and three trips to rehab, I can honestly say that I have it more under control than ever before.

But seriously, it's working. Apart from designing a ton of amazing merch and working on some behind-the-scenes things that I typically leave to fate (or have the Missus do for me), I'm also knee-deep in essays, cranking them out at a rate that I haven't done in years. Sometimes, a change of scenery is all you need to revive creatively, and on Friday, we'll all have that change of scenery here at the CDP, like it or not.

See you tomorrow. Friday's getting closer.

Monday, February 9

Something Is Squeezing My Skull.

The New CDP launches on Friday, February 13 at 12:01am, and to tide everyone over until then, here's a sneak peek at our new logo. It's clean, minimalist and looks unarguably terrific on a key chain.

On Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, we'll be showing more new CDP designs, leading up to the CDP 5th Anniversary on Thursday. After the switch gets flipped at midnight, Lost Friday will arrive at the end of the work week.

Sound off in the comments section and stick around as we barrel towards a new chapter in the history of the CDP. Oh, and then head on over to ObamIcon, and create some ridiculous personalized propaganda, like this:

More to come. See you tomorrow.