Friday, May 14

Lost Friday - "Across The Sea."

Season 6 - Episode 15: "Across The Sea."

I'm not going to dwell on the pessimistic, so I won't get too far into why I felt that this week's episode was a disappointment. With only two more episodes to go, I still remain confident that Lost will leave us with a destination that's just as worthwhile as the journey.

That, or I'll come to the realization that I've wasted the last six years of my life and go on a ten-state killing spree. Hey, whatever's easiest for the producers. Let's go!

(Claudia re-enacts the famous From Here To Eternity kissing scene…alone.)

(Let’s see here. A lying, scheming, murderous psychopath that manipulates emotions and ruins lives in order to get her way? Yup, sounds like every Mother I’ve ever met.)

("Congrats Claudia, you’ve given birth to the whiniest savior since Jesus!")

("I don’t know how to break this to you, ever see Eraserhead?")

("But I don’t WANNA be pure evil!")

("Just think, one day hipsters will play this game in coffee shops and pretend like they know what they’re doing.")

(Zac Ephron as Satan. Makes sense to me.)

("So yeah, you really were my first choice to protect the Island, but you found out that I’ve been lying to you, so you’re about to defect and live with some awful people for the next 30 years, giving you an incorrect assumption that all humans are evil. Then, I will wreck shop until you have no choice but to kill me, essentially taking over my role and allowing me to get my way in making sure you can never leave the Island. That should keep you busy for the next two thousand years or so. Good luck!")

("This is it, kids. The gleaming, beautiful, majestic…Butthole of the Island.")

(Seriously, how big is this Island? You see a landmark one week, and it’s never seen again. Every major destination on Lost is treated like an adopted cousin in an 80’s sitcom.)

(This is the least-faithful Jenga knockoff I’ve ever seen.)

(When you’re a Chuck-E-Cheese that’s off the beaten path, you tend to get glossed over during major renovations.)

(Holy crap, Claudia is Richard Alpert in drag.)

("So yeah, I didn’t really want to choose you, but your vastly superior brother left, which means that I have to convince you that it was your destiny all along to take care of this place by yourself. Truth is, you both have to protect this place in your own weirdly-balanced ways. I’m going to get your brother to kill me, which is going to cause you to go apeshit and toss him into the Island’s Butthole, unleashing all sorts of unspeakable evil while at the same time, setting me free. This should keep you busy for the next two thousand years or so. Good luck!")

(Ah, yes. The triumphant return of the frozen donkey wheel. The symbolic essence of when Lost went from brilliant drama to cuckoo-bananas science fiction. You’re awesome, but I also hate you. Like Neil Patrick Harris and Miller High Life.)

(This is what happens when you put racists in charge of Arizona.)

(The Man In Black becomes frustrated with the world’s first Game Boy.)

("If I’m going to ruin this show, then you’re coming with me!")

(A thousand dollars to anyone, ANYONE, who can make logical sense of this storyline.)

(Hey, a little gratuity never hurt anyone. Although I think Jack needs that bra a little more than Kate does.)

Okay, I'm done for the week. Thanks much for reading; sound off in the comments and enjoy your weekend. Catch up on all of Season 6 by checking out the following links. Later, taters.

Season 6 - Episode 1/2.
Season 6 - Episode 3.
Season 6 - Episode 4.
Season 6 - Episode 5.
Season 6 - Episode 6.
Season 6 - Episode 7.
Season 6 - Episode 8.
Season 6 - Episode 9.
Season 6 - Episode 10.
Season 6 - Episode 11.
Season 6 - Episode 12.
Season 6 - Episode 13.
Season 6 - Episode 14.
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"Zac Ephron as Satan." Pure genius. And I agree with your opinions of this episode; so disappointing. I'm trying to stay positive about how awesome the last two episodes simply HAVE to be, but I'm starting to lose faith. I'm just exhausted! I've given six years of my life to this show, and I don't want to be forced to join you on that 10-state killing spree. Still, I can't help but look into flight fares to Wisconsin...just in case. :)

Another great post! I will miss these most of all, Scarecrow.
Aw, thanks so much, Jenny!

I think the thing that upset me the most was that, besides the 'Adam & Eve' thing, they really didn't answer anything relavant. Even stuff like 'why is Jacob...or anyone...immortal?' seem pretty important in the grand scheme of things, but they glossed over the explanation in favor of more questions, as is their style.

Still, we shan't give up hope. Until next week, then all bets are off.
Here is my theory about all this - When "Mother" discovered there were 2 babies, she realized she finally had her way out: she could raise one to kill her and the other to replace her as guardian of the Island. Here's the catch - she ALWAYS planned for Jacob to replace her and MIB to kill her.

She was doing what Island people always do (see: Ben), she manipulated their free will. She treated MIB better than Jacob, so that when he inevitably discovered her betrayal, he would be even more deeply hurt and his anger would fester, eventually reaching the point where he would be driven to kill her.

With Jacob, she treated him as the lesser, so he would work harder for her approval and affection and be more motivated to accept her request to take over the responsibility of guarding the Island. I think she was telling the truth when she said it was always him.

As for the magic wine that makes you immortal, well, I got nothin'.
Right on, man. Besides, everyone knows that wine doesn't make you immortal, WHISKEY does.
Hasn't anyone figured it out yet? The show is called "Lost." It doesn't need to answer any questions. To live up to the name of the show all they need to do is leave us feeling "lost." Sheesh. Once you figure that out you can really enjoy the show knowing there is no way they can't fulfill that expectation.
Haha, in that case, I'm going to steal this business model and create the coolest show that ever existed. All mysteries and no payoff.

These dirty bastards.
I liked the episode, but I will agree that having this be one of the last few episodes ever worries me. This ep could have been earlier in the season, or it could have answered more questions. I do feel like I have a better grasp on the MIB and Jacob's stories, however. They make a little more sense to me and at least now we know some of their motives for their actions. I am confused how Jacob was all 'we can't ever get off the island, why would we want to?' but we see him visit each candidate in the 'real world'...

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