Friday, May 14

Lost Friday - "Across The Sea."

Season 6 - Episode 15: "Across The Sea."

I'm not going to dwell on the pessimistic, so I won't get too far into why I felt that this week's episode was a disappointment. With only two more episodes to go, I still remain confident that Lost will leave us with a destination that's just as worthwhile as the journey.

That, or I'll come to the realization that I've wasted the last six years of my life and go on a ten-state killing spree. Hey, whatever's easiest for the producers. Let's go!

(Claudia re-enacts the famous From Here To Eternity kissing scene…alone.)

(Let’s see here. A lying, scheming, murderous psychopath that manipulates emotions and ruins lives in order to get her way? Yup, sounds like every Mother I’ve ever met.)

("Congrats Claudia, you’ve given birth to the whiniest savior since Jesus!")

("I don’t know how to break this to you, ever see Eraserhead?")

("But I don’t WANNA be pure evil!")

("Just think, one day hipsters will play this game in coffee shops and pretend like they know what they’re doing.")

(Zac Ephron as Satan. Makes sense to me.)

("So yeah, you really were my first choice to protect the Island, but you found out that I’ve been lying to you, so you’re about to defect and live with some awful people for the next 30 years, giving you an incorrect assumption that all humans are evil. Then, I will wreck shop until you have no choice but to kill me, essentially taking over my role and allowing me to get my way in making sure you can never leave the Island. That should keep you busy for the next two thousand years or so. Good luck!")

("This is it, kids. The gleaming, beautiful, majestic…Butthole of the Island.")

(Seriously, how big is this Island? You see a landmark one week, and it’s never seen again. Every major destination on Lost is treated like an adopted cousin in an 80’s sitcom.)

(This is the least-faithful Jenga knockoff I’ve ever seen.)

(When you’re a Chuck-E-Cheese that’s off the beaten path, you tend to get glossed over during major renovations.)

(Holy crap, Claudia is Richard Alpert in drag.)

("So yeah, I didn’t really want to choose you, but your vastly superior brother left, which means that I have to convince you that it was your destiny all along to take care of this place by yourself. Truth is, you both have to protect this place in your own weirdly-balanced ways. I’m going to get your brother to kill me, which is going to cause you to go apeshit and toss him into the Island’s Butthole, unleashing all sorts of unspeakable evil while at the same time, setting me free. This should keep you busy for the next two thousand years or so. Good luck!")

(Ah, yes. The triumphant return of the frozen donkey wheel. The symbolic essence of when Lost went from brilliant drama to cuckoo-bananas science fiction. You’re awesome, but I also hate you. Like Neil Patrick Harris and Miller High Life.)

(This is what happens when you put racists in charge of Arizona.)

(The Man In Black becomes frustrated with the world’s first Game Boy.)

("If I’m going to ruin this show, then you’re coming with me!")

(A thousand dollars to anyone, ANYONE, who can make logical sense of this storyline.)

(Hey, a little gratuity never hurt anyone. Although I think Jack needs that bra a little more than Kate does.)

Okay, I'm done for the week. Thanks much for reading; sound off in the comments and enjoy your weekend. Catch up on all of Season 6 by checking out the following links. Later, taters.

Season 6 - Episode 1/2.
Season 6 - Episode 3.
Season 6 - Episode 4.
Season 6 - Episode 5.
Season 6 - Episode 6.
Season 6 - Episode 7.
Season 6 - Episode 8.
Season 6 - Episode 9.
Season 6 - Episode 10.
Season 6 - Episode 11.
Season 6 - Episode 12.
Season 6 - Episode 13.
Season 6 - Episode 14.
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Wednesday, May 12

Randy Orton Is God, And The RKO His Message.


Here are six bite-sized CDP tidbits. If I made them any easier to read, I'd be reading them to you. Enjoy.

1. You probably didn't notice it, but the CDP has been experiencing some bugs recently. Things like comments not loading properly, spotty Archives and missing posts have come and gone over the last couple months. This is a Blogger issue, and I've been following the necessary Help Forums to make sure nothing too crazy happens. I'm neurotic about the uniform look of my website, so when things randomly disappear and reappear, it makes my ulcer hurt. The fact that the CDP has become a six-year juggernaut of text and photos doesn't help things either, but I'm on it.

2. Also, I told you before my vacation that I would be celebrating the Series Finale of Lost in style, busting out all sorts of lists and countdowns in celebration of our favorite Island-based Drama. And while I tried hard to make good and compile things I could be happy with, it just didn't pan out. The last few Lost Fridays will arrive (and be awesome), but that's going to have to be it for now. I tried, but time constraints and work on my next book took top priority.

3. Speaking of my next book, we're looking at a release date somewhere near October/November of this year. Things are going smoothly, and I think that if you enjoyed 65 Poor Life Decisions, you'll find this one an improvement on all fronts. The style is obviously very similar in execution, but I feel that every aspect has gotten better in some shape or form. I'm very much looking forward to getting it out to you.

4. I wore a Book-It! shirt to the public library today. I'm surprised nobody put out a Code Adam when I was walking around by myself. I'm not a good adult sometimes, but I think that my generation has accepted the role in stride. Apathy has been replaced by Irony, which means that while I'm not as happy as I was in 1994, I can at least not feel embarrassed to show joy.

5. I'm Currently Listening To:
Titus Andronicus - The Monitor (2010)
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - The Brutalist Bricks (2010)
The Tallest Man On Earth - The Wild Hunt (2010)
Fang Island - Fang Island (2010)
The Temper Trap - Conditions (2009)

6. Whenever I see a band of animal puppets, they always put the seahorses on saxophone. Just because they're saxophone-shaped doesn't necessarily mean that they're skilled at the instrument. You hear me talking, Nick Junior?

Thanks for reading. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.

Monday, May 10

WrestleMania Can Be Substituted With Ring King.

With Summer rapidly approaching, it seems as if some of you have forgotten how to make a Bomb Pop. From nearly three years ago, relive a CDP Video Classic, and learn a thing or two about Mixology in the process.

Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your day.